Stepfather.

This is a dream. This was a dream. I can only hope it will not be a dream..

“Sitting in the bleachers, I watch a swim session, kids lined up to jump in and swim. There are 3 lifeguards, one on the left and right, and one on the far side. One kid jumps in, then right as he touches the water, stops on the water with his elbows, and runs away. I hear people saying that he had to go get something for his father.

“I’m at work, April is there too. The swimming kid runs up to buy a powerade for his father. A woman comes up too. April has me ring her though for some bottled drinks. The woman leaves. I finish April’s check and she has me run after her. I do. I keep running after she gets in her car. I run down the cloverleaf highway merging lanes. I keep running after her car for miles and miles, somehow keeping up with the cars on the road. I catch up to her and begin turning around, using my hands as signal lights and going into the center ditch to get into opposite traffic.

“Ashley, Jesse, and I arrive at a large, estate style house. No one is home, but we have keys. Jesse and Ashley both have one; I only know where one is hidden. They begin opening the door as I find the hidden key. I find it as they get it unlocked and open the door. Stepping in side, we see a small package, wrapped in brown paper and twine, sitting on the doormat.

“The house again. Only this time, I’m alone. I’ve come from a distance to see someone; go on a date with him. He kisses me, but seems timid, frightened almost. We find ourselves at a recycling plant. His stepfather had him bring items here. We walk inside, wandering over piles of garbage. I look down and notice I’m barefoot. I carefully step, ensuring I land on milk bottles. His stepfather scares us. He’s hanging from rafters on the ceiling by his legs. We’re quite close to him, as the pile we have climbed is high up in the warehouse. We’re now on the floor of the warehouse, the pile behind us. Somehow, his stepfather is sitting on top of me, pinning me to the floor. He begins touching my leg, moving his hand further up. I tell him to stop; it only increases his advances. Eventually, his hand is as far up on my leg as possible. I tell him to stop again, getting more and more frustrated. The stepson is sitting in the background, watching, too frightened to do anything. He’s on the verge of tears, but stifles them in fear. I become angry. I tell him to get off me one last time. He smiles at me and continues..”

Sunlight. Dawn peeks through my window, saving me..

Baggage

My car packed full, all my belongings in one place.
My heart empty and bare, all love and happiness gone from that place.
While I take my things with me, my soul behind I leave.
For who or what else to comfort my love when he will go to grieve?

Banished away am I for my sins, my mistakes and crime.
I wish I'd never forsaken my love simply for a "good time."
I cast no blame to him, but only to the mirror.
I still know not why I did it, as there's no one or thing I hold dearer.

I love him more than life itself, but perhaps it's better this way.
One less person to eat and harm and send the world astray.
A final look at my love so pure, the only picture I took.
Why, oh why, didn't I capture more moments, I already miss the look.

Contented to know he'd be safe tonight, my soul forever with him,
I chose a spot, icy and dangerous, with which to cast my last whim.
I love you, I sobbed as the car slid into the ditch,
Cast upon a tree so hard.. The tree, it took a pitch.

Not the way I would have liked to die, burning in a frozen world.
But better than living in a world that I had myself unfurled.
No trace behind, my things gone with me, against the fire no fight.
No trace but my soul, simply content to keep him warm again tonight.